Oct 1, 05:48 PM by Mike Mitrovich
Psalm 131 through the eyes of my daughter Zoe
I’ve read Psalm 131 before, but not since Zoe was born. Contemplating its words on a recent prayer retreat, the life of our daughter shed new and powerful light on these words from the Old Testament of the Bible:
My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.Psalm 131:1-3
Picture this:
Zoe is screaming and tears are flowing down her face. She could be hungry, she could be tired, she may have fallen. The reason is not as important as the state of need it has created. I pick her up and the tears and screaming continue. At this point, Tisha has gathered a pillow on her lap and has bared one of her breasts. Zoe sees this and IMMEDIATELY, her tears and screaming turn to giggles of joy and her hands reach towards her mommy.
As I place Zoe on the pillow and she draws near the breast, she frantically waves her head around, mouth open wide trying to latch on. With Tisha’s help, Zoe latches on and begins ingesting her mother’s milk, finally relaxing. When full, she pulls off of the breast with a gasp and a dramatic turning of the head.
Then Zoe gives me the look that is so precious, so yearned for, that I can barely stand it.
First, let me say that I often feel appreciated by Zoe. I know she enjoys my company. I know she misses me when I’m gone and is glad when I return. However, the only time I have felt truly LOVED by her, is after she has breast fed. The way she looks at me after being fed… I have to fight tears of joy every single time.
In light the words of Psalm 131, I compare this process with my own relationship with Jesus Christ. Although it would be truer to compare it with the relationship I’d LIKE to have with Christ.
Often I find myself distraught… worried about the future, relationships with family and friends, career, you name it. Most days, I work through those things on my own. Maybe I pray, maybe I ask God to bless this thing or that. It is a rare day when I turn towards my heavenly father in the manner of Zoe. It is a rare day when I truly turn towards Christ and embrace the joy that seeing Him brings.
However, much like Zoe, when I do turn and I do draw close to my creator, I still try to do things on my own. I flail about with my mouth open and my ears shut, dictating to Christ how our encounter should go. Many days, He lets me flail and I miss out on the nourishment my spirit needs. Other days, He patiently guides me to the streams of living water He promised and I am able to relax in the comfort of who He is.
Reading this Psalm, I realize that it is only after being fed this way that I can truly love others. It is the only way I can truly serve Christ. The Bible teaches that we can’t earn our salvation. That we can’t pay Christ back. I try to anyway, and fail. Loving my neighbor to pay back Christ is not loving my neighbor. However, being so relaxed in the arms of my God that He can truly nourish my soul, and then loving my neighbor because there is no way not too… now THAT is true love.
Sitting in the arms of my God, feeding from that living water, I no longer concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me, but I have stilled and quieted my soul, putting my hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.
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